Holiday Infidelity: Causes and Cures

The holidays are upon us, and with them, comes added temptation of infidelity. Situations like office parties, alcohol consumption and holiday travel compounded with unsatisfying sex lives and communication breakdowns increase the possibility that one of both partners in a relationship may succumb to the temptation to cheat.

Because of such situations, the number of cases of infidelity peaks in the month of December. In a 2010 survey, Men’s Health Magazine found that 44 percent of men admitted to having an affair at a holiday office party. Another survey of men and women revealed that 20 percent of extramarital affairs began at office holiday parties.

There are numerous causes of infidelity and although there is nothing anyone can do to keep a spouse or partner from cheating, there are things individuals can do to reduce their own risks of giving in to temptation.

With the help of Dr. Marty Klein, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist, and author of Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex, And How to Get  It, we discuss some causes of cheating during holiday and ways to prevent them.

Infidelity Causes

Alcohol consumption. Office holiday parties often come with holiday cocktails, which lead to intoxication and lowered inhibitions. What was once a taboo behavior might seem enticing and adventurous.

“Alcohol disinhibits people, causes poor judgment and makes people do things they wouldn’t normally be willing to do,” says Dr. Klein.

Holiday travel.  Traveling during the holidays puts people in a position to see people they wouldn’t normally see during the year. Meeting new or visiting old friends can open the door to temptation and extramarital sexual situations.

End of the year life evaluation. The end of the year is a time for reflection and re-evaluation, and as the new year approaches, many people often take stock of their lives and focus on what’s missing. With reflection comes regret about unaccomplished goals which leads to melancholy feelings.

Lack of sexual satisfaction at home. If one or both partners in a couple is not being satisfied emotionally or sexually in the relationship, they might seek that emotional or sexual connection with someone else.

“When people stop having sex, it’s because they don’t enjoy it as much as they used to,” says Dr. Klein.

Avoiding Temptation

Although there is nothing anyone can do to keep a partner from cheating, there are several things one can do to resist or avoid temptation.

On way to reduce the risk of infidelity is to limit the amount of alcohol consumed. Because people tend to disregard their usual norms when they drink, alcohol should be reduced or eliminated in a setting where there is increased temptation.

Another way to avoid temptation is recognize which emotions can bring about the desire to seek comfort in someone other than your spouse.  When strong feelings are in play, people seek  a way to make them go away, and some people use sex  to feel better.

“Know your emotional vulnerabilities,” says Dr. Klein. “If you’re lonely, if you’re angry, or feeling undesirable, don’t use infidelity to medicate your own emotions.

When lack of sexual satisfaction is an issue in the relationship, the best way to avoid falling victim to temptation is communication. An open and honest dialogue between partners about what’s missing and how it can be acquired can bring couples closer together.

“Communicate, communicate, communicate,” Dr. Klein advises. “If a couple doesn’t have the kind of sex they like, they should discuss it. Ask, what is it you like? We should do more of that.”

Another way to bring back the sexual satisfaction in a relationship is being open to trying new things like sex toys. One particular toy developed for couples is the We-Vibe couples vibrator. When couples incorporate new things, it enhances their intimate life.

“Sex toys, and products like the We-Vibe increase communication and playfulness, “ says Dr. Klein.  “It connects people.”

Not All Bad News

December doesn’t have to be a month plagued with worry about a partner engaging infidelity. It can be a month of sexual reconnection, exploration and satisfaction, and new sex toy might be just one way to make it the best month of the year for couples. We-Vibe has just release the We-Vibe 4 couples vibrator in time for the holidays, and it just might be the key to jump-starting a sex life that may be lacking in one area or another.

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