It doesn’t take a relationship expert to know that in order to maintain a healthy, loving, lasting relationship, both partners need to make it a priority. Too many couples let other things come before their relationship, which leads to other problems that can become more difficult to fix. The best way to ensure the relationship doesn’t stagnate is to prioritize the relationship.
“Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority,” says Dr. Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.
1. Schedule time together.
- It may seem difficult to break out of work habits that force one partner to take time away from the other, but with a little scheduling and dedication it is possible to make time for the relationship.
- Have a date night a time that is just for you and your partner. Schedule some time every week. An hour in the evening or a standing lunch date can be a simple start. If one of you is too burnt out after a work day, set up a time on the weekend to have lunch or dinner together, just the two of you.
- Eliminate all distractions. No cell phones. No computers. No television, just you and your partner. Removing anything that could be a distraction will give the two of you time to reconnect and reestablish intimacy. Getting out of the house can remove a lot of distractions as well, you can’t enjoy your time together you’re distracted by the shoes on the floor that need to be put in the closet.
- Do not use this time to talk about any touchy subjects such as finances or chores. Keep the conversation focused on the positive things about your partner and your relationship. The last thing you want is to argue when you are supposed to be having quality time. If your partner brings up something that could result in an argument, change the subject and set up a time to discuss it at a later date.
2. Connect with your partner physically and emotionally.
- Hold hands, exchange kisses and look into each others’ eyes. Not only is it a reassuring display of affection, but it lets your partner know you’re enjoying the time you spend together.
- Let your partner know that you still appreciate them, still s/he is attractive, makes you happy. Just because you’ve been together for five, ten, or even fifteen years, doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t need to hear how much s/he means to you.
3. Write each other love notes.
- Even if you are at work, your partner will know that you thought about him/her when you give him/her the note you wrote when you should have been paying attention in that meeting. A text message in the middle of the day saying, “Thinking about you,” is a great way to let your partner know s/he’s on your mind.
There are many other ways to make time for your relationship. You don’t have to spend every hour of the day every day together, but just making an effort to be together, even for 30 minutes a day, can contribute to a happy and successful relationship.