There are several behaviors that might make a person turn on his heels and run, there are also a variety of behaviors that might send him packing in favor of a less volatile, controlling and/or crazy woman. Married women can avoid some of these behaviors with mindful self control, others take a little more work and perhaps even some psychotherapy. In either case, if you find yourself exhibiting any of these behaviors, you made to take some time to yourself and do a little self-reflecting.
10. Nag, Nag, Nag. Your husband took off his socks and left them on the bed instead of putting them in the hamper. You asked him an hour ago to put that shelf up and it still isn’t done. You told him to pick up green leaf lettuce and he got iceburg. What’s your reaction? Do you ask him to rectify this situation, or do you constantly pester, cajole and browbeat him into doing what you want, when you want, the way you want. There is a difference.
If you think that the only way to get him to do anything for you is to ride him like a bronco every five minutes, think again. No man, wants to hear the same thing over and over again. One thing every woman knows is, if you want something done right, do it yourself. The next time you feel the need to nag, ask yourself, “Is this really that big a deal? Can I get this done myself?” Your best bet may be to just remember, “I’m a woman. Of course, I can.”
There is a difference. If you think that the only way to get him to do anything for you is to ride him like a bronco every five minutes, think again. No man, wants to hear the same thing over and over again. One thing every woman knows is, if you want something done right, do it yourself. The next time you feel the need to nag, ask yourself, “Is this really that big a deal? Can I get this done myself?” Your best bet may be to just remember, “I’m a woman. Of course, I can.”
9. Be Volatile. One minute you’re smiling, laughing and having a good time. The next minute you’re a raging pile of estrogen; crying, yelling, and picking fights. The problem is you have no idea why you’re acting this way, and if you don’t how can he possibly? The next time you feel a surge of emotion about to overcome you, give a little warning. Separate yourself from anyone who may suffer a blow from “Hurricane Moodswing,” and eliminate the possibility of an unnecessary argument. Both your husband and your marriage will benefit from a little self-awareness on your part.
8. Let Yourself Go. No one expects a married woman to dress like she’s on the red carpet every day. No one is even asking her to wear makeup every day, but if pajamas or sweats and a ratty old t-shirt become her outfit of choice on a daily basis, problems could ensue. Putting on a little sexy every once in a while will keep him intrigued and will make you feel like a bedroom goddess. Plus, it’s just fun to play dress up every now and again.
7. Criticize, Insult and Emasculate. Your mother always told you “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” This is especially true for wives. Women who constantly berate, criticize, demean and undermine their husbands can almost certainly expect to sign divorce papers. No one enjoys (excluding fetishists) that kind of humiliation. Continuous bombardment with cruel remarks is unnecessary and hurtful. Married women should be careful not to make their husbands feel like less than men, because they will eventually realize they don’t have to take it.
6. Expect Him to Read Your Mind. He asks, “What’s wrong?” You answer, “Nothing.” This dialog continues for three to five question-answer rounds until he says ‘Okay,’ and walks away. You sit and silently seethe for another half hour to forty-five minutes until you can’t take it anymore and become enraged that he did know something was really bothering you. This is one the most annoying and unacceptable behaviors you do.
5. Keep Having the Same Fight. Rehashing the same argument whenever you have a disagreement is a waste of time and energy. A month-old conflict should stay in the past. If an issue was previously resolved, and you’re still holding on to anger about it, bringing it up any time you’re upset is just going to leave you both frustrated. Not only that, but if something he did upset you last week, and you never addressed it at that time, don’t even think of bringing it up now.
Issues should be resolved at the time they occur, not days or weeks later. There are times when it’s not appropriate for such discussions, such as in a public place, or at a family gatherings or parties, but they should be addressed as soon as possible, but if it’s been longer than a day or two it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.
4. Be Suspicious. “Where did you go?” “Who were you with?” “Why didn’t you call?” Of course, you have every right to know the answers to all these questions and you are well within you boundaries to ask. But these behaviors are the reason you don’t know in the first place.
If he tells you he’s going to Hooters, you’ll just nag, complain, threaten and try to manipulate him out of it. So now, instead of him calling and saying, I’ll be home late, he doesn’t call at all. He just shows up and has to hear your mouth. Congratulations. You just made him do what you didn’t want him to do. He gave you a reason not to trust him. How long will your marriage last now?
3. Display Jealousy and Insecurity. As you walk down the street his head turns to look at a pretty girl. You notice, stop dead in your tracks and say, “You think she’s pretty? Is she prettier than me? You want to sleep with her don’t you?” He vehemently denies it, but you don’t believe him. You find yourself jealous of every pretty girl you see, even his favorite celebrities. The fact is, if he wanted to be with someone else, he would be, so what’s the point of being jealous of someone neither of you know nor have ever met. These type of behaviors can end a marriage.
2. Public Displays of Aggression. This point falls in with jealousy, insulting, nagging, and emasculation, only now, it’s in public. You don’t care who sees it. You’re yelling, swearing, and stomping your feet all for the neighbors, and strangers to see. Temper tantrums occur whenever and wherever you feel the need to get what you want. This immature behavior is not only unattractive to him, it’s disgusting and repulsive and is sure to be a factor in the demise of your marriage. Married women should learn keep tempers under control when others are around.
1. Withhold. Last and most important of all reasons marriages die. You have a headache, you just don’t feel like it, you have something else on your mind, or maybe you’re just tired 365 days of the year. You refuse him constantly. Again, you have every right to not want to have sex, but come on. No one has an eternal headache. When you continue to say no someone else will say yes, and he knows this. And sooner or later he will act on it. Don’t think for one second that it has never entered his mind.
Married women, no man has to put up with these behaviors and they eventually figure that out. You want to keep him? Then keep him satisfied. Don’t forget that you have a lot to do with whether or not your marriage survives. You may have a ring and a piece of paper, but it’s still his choice to stay with you. Put in the effort. You don’t have to perfect, nobody is, but you shouldn’t become a crazy psycho wife who drives her husband away either. Would you tolerate the things on this list? Ask yourself that the next time you find yourself exhibiting one of them.
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